The Boy's Scheme
by purplangel
Summary: Ryan and Javi have had enough of all the underlying sexual tension between Mom and Dad. They're both determined to find a solution to the problem... Laughter and plotting ensue. (Set mid-season 4. Last chapter is bordering M)
1. Chapter 1

**For KiwiOCD and Crazy4Castle who both need a true Caskett-shipper story. Thank U Kiwi for inadvertently giving me this idea as I needed a break from writing the angst/darkness of Tortured Love.**

**There will be 5 chapters and for this story, there's a recording system in the observation room as well as interrogation ;)**

**….**

Ryan glanced over at Beckett and Castle bickering. He felt like following Beckett's example by rolling his own eyes. Those two were just plain ridiculous.

"It's ludicrous that Mom and Dad haven't hooked up yet."

"Ludicrous? It's freakin' unbelievable," Esposito chuckled. "At this rate Alexis will have a child first before those two finally do the deed. Who would've guessed that Castle would have the restraint of a Saint?"

"Who would've guessed that Beckett could resist her inner fangirl?"

"Not I, that's for sure."

"I'm sick and tired of them finishing each other's sentences."

"I'm sick and tired of all their 'jinx' scenarios."

"I'm sick and tired of walking in on them eye-sexting."

Espo grinned naughtily. "I have to say it's pretty horrific watching Castle check Beckett out."

"Drooling over her is more accurate."

"Si, the way he leers at her chest when he thinks no one's looking."

"Or leans in to take a whiff of her hair."

"And the way he checks out her ass at crime scenes."

"Like he's never seen a woman's jean-clad butt before."

"More like he's never seen a woman's naked ass before."

"Uh-huh, and what about the way she watches him when he's making her coffee?"

"Yeah, and it's just plain sickening the way she coyly smiles when he says something risque."

"No, what's sickening is how she watches his mouth when he speaks in that teasing baritone of his."

"We all see it, - the glances, the touches, the - " Espo shivered, "I'm-dying-to-see-you-buck-naked-smiles."

"Everyone in the precinct sees it from officers to suspects to the lowliest delivery guys."

"It's about time they fucked it out and then maybe things could be more normal around here."

"I agree, but Beckett's too **up-tight** to admit that Writer-Monkey just might mean more to her than a partner."

"Okay, Dr. Phil," Espo teased. "It's time to put our heads together and think of a plan since they've both been single for several months and – "

The boys turned at the feminine, tinkling laughter that floated down the hallway. The buxom blond in her early 30's, all legs in skin-tight shorts and with cleavage spilling out of her fluorescent pink tank top, clung to Castle's arm. She leaned into him, batting her fake eyelashes as Beckett led them into observation room two.

They couldn't hear what transpired next but by Beckett's exasperated expression and Castle's puppy-dog scowl, it obviously wasn't good. The hottie blondie followed Kate into interrogation and Castle closed the door behind them, standing in the observation room looking like a kid who'd just learned that the Easter Bunny wasn't real.

Ryan got an excited look in his eyes. "Hey, I've got an idea. Follow my lead okay?"

"Sure, bro. Don't blow this though as I can't handle being assigned to desk duty all next week."

"I need you to show some interest in Beckett's suspect."

Javier grinned from ear to ear thinking about the size 4 blonde's muscular legs and toned ass. "Not a problem."

Ryan walked casually into the Observation room with Espo close on his heels.

"Hey Castle. How you doin'?" Ryan inconspicuously hit the record button in their room.

"Fine," he grumbled. "Beckett won't let me in there with Candy Land... She gave me some excuse about being a distraction."

"The stripper's name is Candy Land?" Espo asked and then let out a cat whistle. "I'd play on her game board any day."

Castle smirked, "Officially her name is Candice Littleton, but Candy Land certainly suits her."

Espo continued to leer at her through the glass… "Wo – ah. She's smokin'! Are you interested in tapping that Castle?"

"Me?" the writer sounded surprised. "No. There's no foul. You go for it."

"Hey," chimed in Ryan smoothly, "Put Candy Land in a blue sundress carrying a Nikki Heat book and she could pass for one of Castle's groupies."

"Si," Espo chuckled. "I can picture her now in a Barnes and Nobles waiting in line patiently at one of your book signings… She leans over the desk and shoves her fake boobs in your face, (Espo mimicks a woman's fluttering eyelashes) while she holds out a permanent sharpie and asks you innocently to sign her chest."

"And then she inconspicuously slips him her number."

"Man," Espo slapped him on the back. "I'm envious of your life… All those choices of beautiful, **willing** women."

"Yeah Castle, you must be one of the most satisfied men on the planet."

"We – lll," and the way he drew the word out had the boys smiling to themselves.

"Let's just say that the 'Playboy' rumors flying around about me, - aren't necessarily true."

"What do you mean?" Espo got up in his face with a look that said, 'You'd-better-not-be-about-to-shatter-my-macho-ima ge-of-you-man.'

"I'll admit, at one time, it used to be thrilling to pick the most attractive fan out of hundreds of women and take them home for the night…"

"You mean the horniest woman," snickered Espo.

"The hottest woman," chimed in Ryan while outlining a woman's curves in the air.

"The woman with the largest breasts."

"The woman who looks like a supermodel but only has half a brain."

"Enough guys," Castle interrupted with a boyish smile. "That was me several years ago… It's not who I am now."

"Well, I'd bet that if you got yourself a taste of Candy Land that you might find yourself back on the Casanova track."

Rick looked horrified. "No, no. She's definitely **not** my type."

"Not your type? … Blond, beautiful, in a slutty-kind-of-way with skyscraper legs and enormous breasts?" Espo put his hand on Rick's forehead. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

Ryan piped up, "He's fine, Espo. We both know his type is more a brunette with skyscraper legs and a domineering personality who knows how to handle handcuffs."

"Right on, Partner," and the boys high-fived each other.

Rick shook his head side to side. "How many times do I have to tell you that we're – "

"JUST friends," echoed throughout the room as both boys said it simultaneously.

"We know Castle, but honestly, we're afraid for you…"

"Afraid? - What's the matter with you two?"

"Afraid you're about to lose your Man Card."

"Si, afraid you've lost your cojones."

Castle's mouth dropped open comically.

"Heey, I can assure you that the Man Card is still present and well-deserved."

"Exactly what we're afraid of…"

Castle didn't like the look the boys exchanged amongst themselves.

"Yep… Just how long has it been since you've used your, umm," Ryan cleared his throat, "Card?"

_What?_ _- Were they actually asking him about the last time he had sex?_

"Hmmm."

"Jeez, it's worse than I thought, Ryan… He has to think about the last time he got laid."

"Yeah, it's been so long that **he can't **even remember."

"Guys, it hasn't been thaaat long..." Rick paused to think about it… Oh hell, he knew the last time he'd had sex was with Gina but that was – he gulped – Wow, that was well over a year ago.

Kate had consumed his thoughts for the past 2 years, - been the star of his wet dreams, - some very vivid, erotic dreams at that, and he just couldn't find it in his heart to pick up a bombshell for some meaningless sex when he knew he'd only envision her while fucking a stranger.

Kate's long glossy curls flowing through his fingers. Her satin, creamy skin beneath his fingertips. Her cherry scent enveloped in his sheets. Her long, lithe frame entwined with his own.

"Cas – tle," flowing through her lips in the throes of passion, or better yet, "Casss – lllle!" being shouted in his sound-proof bedroom as she climaxed.

The blood shot to his nether regions and now he was going to have to take a break to the men's room to take care of the problem. He chuckled internally as he was becoming very acquainted with Mini-Castle these days.

"It was when I was with Gina," he mumbled and Ryan immediately put his hand up behind his ear.

"What was that, Castle?... I couldn't hear you."

"Okay guys. So it's been awhile… The last time I had sex was with Gina."

Espo coughed, "Man Card issues."

"NO, there's no issues. Everything **definitely** works properly down there."

Ryan looked at him critically. "Are you sure, Castle? Let's face it, you've hit middle age, and it's been well over a year. Maybe you should go see a Doctor, have an annual physical, get your package checked out."

"No," Javier piped up comically, "He needs to see an **experienced** sex therapist as it's NOT normal for a healthy male to go that long without nookie."

"Really, I promise that no medical attention is necessary."

"You do know what this means, right Javi?"

_Oh no, here it comes, _Castle thought anxiously.

Ryan slapped him hard on the back. "Our boy here is waiting for our long-legged, controlling boss to wet his dry spell."

"Sure looks like it.. Jeez Castle, we've always known you were hoping to get her in the sack but going that long without some mattress mambo means - "

"Guuyys," he droned, interrupting Esposito. "Enough already." He cleared his throat and wrapped both his arms around the boy's necks. "How about I treat you both to some free drinks at the Old Haunt tonight? Ryan, you're sure welcome to bring Jenny, and Javi you can bring your latest one-night-stand."

"Sounds great, Castle. I'm sure my date has a hot friend that can tag along." He flashed him a smarmy grin. "A chica who can help you with your 'Man Card' problems."

He groaned internally as the only hot chica he wanted to help him with his particular problem was sitting on the opposite side of the glass, - green eyes flashing, auburn hair swaying, lovely lips snarling and spewing legal terms to a bubbly stripper who looked like she might be more comfortable wrapped around a stripper pole, than resting in her lingerie at home.

Uggh… Now there was a thought to fuel his KB fantasies for weeks to come…

Kate. Skimpy stripper outfit. Pole. Thigh holster.

_Ohhh._

Yeah, Ryan was right… He'd been waiting for Detective Kate Beckett, the drop-dead gorgeous woman who could make him laugh one minute with just a roll of her eyes and the next, make his groin ache with a tiny nibble on her lower lip.

"No chicas for me, Espo," he chuckled. "I've already got one bad-ass woman I can't control."

The boys shared "knowing" grins.

"Tell Beckett I had to leave a little early. Hope to see you guys tonight."

"We'll be there."

As soon as Rick left the observation room, the boys laughingly fed the birds.

After shutting off the recorder, Ryan said, "Now, how do we get Beckett to listen to this, plus get her down to the Old Haunt tonight?"

"Leave it to me… Those two aren't going to know what hit 'em."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank U dear readers for the overwhelming, INcreDiBle response to chapter 1!**

***My excuse for this chapter is that Kate is PMS-ing*! LOL (Next chapter will reveal how Javi convinced Lanie to join in)**

**…..**

She did NOT want to be dealing with this particular suspect today of all days.

She'd had a restless night tossing and turning and didn't want to dwell on why… But Ohhh, she couldn't get the picture of_**him **_out of her head.

She'd had the oddest dream about Castle and it had left her feeling unfulfilled, - sexually on edge. It was so bizarre that she even wondered what Dr. Ruth or Sigmund Freud might possibly think about it.

She'd dreamed that someone was leaning annoyingly against her buzzer at the God-awful hour of 2:25 am. She'd pulled herself out of bed, ran her fingers through her hair, and traipsed into her living room dressed in only a Yankees baseball Tshirt that barely covered her behind. She walked to the buffet table and pulled out her glock, checking the chamber to make sure it was armed and ready.

She jumped at the terse knocking on her door and then his unmistakable deep voice called, "Beckett, I nee - ed you."

She looked through the peephole and saw his famous baby blues flash mockingly. He was too wide awake, his eyes a bit glassy and she wouldn't be surprised at all to learn that he was drunk as a skunk. He swayed away from her door and her eyes immediately traveled downward. She noticed his beautiful bare chest, bulging pecs and trim hips.

She licked her suddenly too-dry lips.

_What's going on?_

She opened the door warily and said with confusion, "Castle, what are you doing heee—rrre?" but her voice petered out at his appearance.

He wasn't wearing a shirt and _Holy hell,_ he wasn't wearing pants either. Just standing there before her in SuperMan boxers. (She couldn't believe she was actually thinking this, but they looked **really** good on him and made her wonder exactly how many pairs of Superhero boxers he might own)

And _wow_! There was the 'Man of Steel' in the air,

flying,

right on his umm -

His adorable, goofy grin adorned his face and screamed, 'I-am-the-man-of-my-Castle!' He leaned one arm on her doorjamb, and stood in that alluring stance, ass out, invading her personal space. He said in that sexy baritone of his, "Detective, - Superman wants to come out and play."

_Him. Her. Playing together._

She stood there with her mouth agape and her hazel eyes bugging out of her head as she stared, mmm, at him or more accurately **at **Superman.

**_Yes, _**she would shamelessly, openly admit that she was grossly staring at the** growing** Superman, and then her eyes finally blinked, dragging her out of her fixation, as Rick reached behind his back and pulled out a single, short-stem white rose. (Which, she gratefully noticed, didn't have any thorns)

"Do you know what the white rose stands for, Detective Beckett?"

_Oh my God, did he honestly have that rose shoved into the back of his waistband?_

"Uhh, innocence, purity," she sighed, feeling guilty as her thoughts definitely **weren't pure** right now.

"That, as well as 'New Beginnings,' but I prefer the connotation of – " he took a deep whiff of the rose, "A love stronger than death."

He placed the rose between his teeth and _zing!_ She never would've thought that she could be envious of a flower but that rose right there, _yeah_, in his luscious mouth with his white teeth nibbling on it succinctly, made her umm - .

She woke up tangled in her sheets, breathing heavily with a slight sheen of sweat on her brow and more than a slight sheen between her legs.

She'd swear she could smell fresh roses in her room, and since when did her erotic dreams have a dash of romance splashed in?

_Yep, Freud would have an absolute hey day with this one. - I wonder what Lanie might think? Uggh No! Not Lanie. I'd_ never live it down.

It was all very confusing and mind-boggling and after tossing and turning all night and fluffing her pillow a thousand times and thinking of Castle in various comic book themed boxers, - Spiderman, Batman, Dare Devil, (Mmm, that one had potential) Aquaman (Nooo, she would not not go there) Kate decided that she just might be partial to The Incredible Hulk. (No psychiatric evaluation needed there)

Due to that **very** weird dream, she had a pounding headache (that was on the verge of turning into a migraine) and hauling in a hot stripper with blond streaks in her hair and boobs the size of Texas, - who unabashedly had eyes for Castle, - wasn't helping the situation.

She was on the precipice of a cliff watching Candice Littleton, AKA Candy Land, fawn all over her partner. She cringed at the fake eyelashes batting a mile a minute. She rolled her eyes over the collagen-filled lips that kept leaning into his ear and whispering suggestive things. She about lost her lunch when Candy shoved her gigantic breasts right into his chest.

The stripper was overly flirtatious, - constantly touching Castle and speaking in a smoky voice, - horny as a Chihuahua in heat. (Kate would later use that phrase to describe her to Lanie and even speculated that the exotic dancer had a mini white Chihuahua just because she had to emulate Paris Hilton)

She blatantly chased Rick with her, "Mr. Castle, I'm going to leave you tickets at the bar for my next show. I'd luuuv to introduce you to all my friends." (_I just_ _bet she would_!) To, "There's no way you have a teenage daughter, you barely look 30." (_Really? _Even she readily admitted Castle looked near his age)

She had to restrain herself from throwing Castle off the case with how easily he giggled. (Yes, he was actually giggling at the sugary words flowing from the stripper's mouth) Plus, he was throwing the hussy his, 'Yes,-I-find-you-attractive-smiles-and-I'm-hoping- to-show-you-just-how-much-later-on.' (And they were exchanging these smiles way too often for her to be comfortable with leaving them alone) Kate knew that God damn sexy smile by heart because he used it so often on her.

Seriously, how could be interested in a woman who'd probably shown her assets to half the men in NYC?

"But Rick – Eee," Candice drawled, "I don't know a thing about my boss' murder… You believe me, don't you?"

"It's not what I believe that matters. You need to convince this **_lovely_** Detective here."

_Ohh_, she knew what he was trying to do, the sneaky bastard, - trying to worm his way back into her good graces by flattering her but it was not going to work today. He could take those enormous baby blues of his and smarmy charm and dreamy male voice and just stew for a while in the observation room.

"Castle," she stopped moving and put her hand up against his chest. Wow, it felt firmer than she expected it to. "You're not coming into interrogation today."

"What? Noo, you can't do that to me, Beckett."

"I just did. You can plant that author's butt of yours, _(and Gawd, it's one mighty fine butt) _in the interrogation room as I don't need you being a distraction to my suspect."

_For me either!_ her heart screamed at her.

"But Beee – ckett," he whined. "I promise to sit still and not say a single word… I promise my lips are sealed." He mimicked zipping his lips shut and throwing away the key.

Ohhh, that made her think of their undercover kiss – his large hands that delved into her hair and angled her head just so, - his full lips that felt like satin beneath hers and then (Gulp) the slightest hint of tongue.

She couldn't get out of her head that freaking amazing undercover kiss and it intruded on her thoughts at the most inopportune of times.

_Like now._

"I can't deal with this right now," especially since Candy Land was still hanging on his arm and looking up at him with liquid, Bambi eyes that screamed, "I want you to fuck me!"

And she certainly couldn't deal with the boys scrutinizing them right now either.

_Wait_, _why did the boys keep sneaking glances at them?_ _Is this skanky stripper really all that?_

Espo looked like a smug, debonair Hispanic who'd just learned that his favorite supermodel was going to do a show in NYC and Ryan's little boy face was smattered with glee, - like he'd just won the lotto.

_Uh-Oh, something's up with those two, _but she didn't have time to dwell on whatever perverted thing was going on in the boy's minds because her peevish Partner had turned down his lower lip into a full pout.

"Please Beckett," and he leaned into her ear to whisper. (And **no**, his smell was certainly not divine and she didn't look down the front of his shirt to ogle the baby fine hairs there)

"I just know that this stripper will give me a thousand different ideas for umm, you know, - Nikki." He blew the word, 'Nikki,' hotly into her ear.

_Oh hell no! Did he just say that? The arrogant, stupid man._

She folded her arms shoving what little chest she had in his direction. (See Mr-famous-womanizer,-I-can-compete-with-a-busty-ba be-even-though-she's-not-in-the-same-league-as-I)

Her jaw clenched and her eyebrows drooped and her disapproving look shouted, 'Castle-you-throw-Nikki-at-me-one-more-time-and-I' m-going-to-Nikki-IZE-you.

"Cas – ssle," she hissed.

He chuckled lightheartedly, "She's just research for the next book."

Her death glare promptly made him pull back from her.

She smiled to herself because Castle at the very least had the decency to look chagrined…_Typical man swooning over a pair of silicone breasts attached to a size 22 waist!_

The vanilla-musky scent (or more accurately fumes) flowing off from Candice started to drown her in their sickly sweet depths, making her nauseas. The sooner she got Candice Littleton out of the precinct, the sooner things could go back to normal.

"You stay in the observation room or go home for the day." She said forcefully, in that Detective tone of hers that brooked no argument.

He stood there with a lost puppy-dog expression on his face as she slammed the interrogation door.

"Have a seat there, Ms. Littleton," she directed the now sulking stripper to her seat. "If you're completely honest with me this discussion will be over in less than 15 minutes and you can go back to umm, - " (B_eing a Jezebel_ in your House of Ill repute) "Your place of work."

She heard the boys traipse into the observation room. _Men! Why in the world did a pair of double Ds make them fuckin' clueless?_

After listening to the bimbo drone on and on about how much her Boss meant to her and, "Just look at me." Candice swiped her hand down over herself in a Vanna White impression. "How could me, being so littl' and all, have killed a 300 pound man?"

_Yeah_, Kate was looking at her alright. About ready to arrest her for that travesty of an 80's tank top in bright fluorescent pink which she wouldn't be surprised to learn, 'glows-in-the-dark.' Plus, she was beginning to suspect that Candy Land might be 'dumb-as-a-post.'

"Ms. Littleton, (And she said the word, 'little,' lightly as her boobs were anything BUT) your Boss was shot to death so," her eyes flashed, "Little ol' you are a suspect… Where were you the night of the 16th around 7:30 pm?"

"Why, I was where I always am… In the dressing room at Buck's Bar putting on my Slutty Maid outfit for the show."

_Why doesn't that surprise me? - Except I picture her more as a Slutty Nurse._

**_..._**

By the time Lanie texted her begging for a girl's night out tonight at The Old Haunt, Kate was at the end of her rope dealing with Bambi's brain cells (or lack thereof) and Bambi's boobs. (Which just might be growing by the second)

She texted gratefully back,** 'Count me in. I can't express enough how much I need a Girl's Night out. No men allowed. ;) '**

**…**

Lanie's brown eyes crinkled from her plastered smile. She called Javi and said joyously, "It's on... Those two are in for the surprise of their lives."


	3. Chapter 3

**Dedicated to JennKyle. Thank U for faithfully reviewing every one of my chapters for every story. It means so much.**

**...**

"Lanie, muy bonita amiga," Javier strolled into the morgue looking mighty fine in tight Levi jeans and a charcoal-colored pullover shirt that fit like a second skin. "How are you today?"

She took in his bright eyes, devil-may-care smile and cocky stance and knew immediately something was up. "I'm doing great, but you certainly didn't haul that sexy Hispanic ass of yours down here to check up on me… Skip the niceties and get down to business."

His laughter made her wish she could hear it on a daily basis.

"No one can accuse you of being subtle."

"No," and her dazzling smile made his heart skip a beat, "I'm definitely anything BUT subtle."

"Mmm," his dark eyes appraised her sleek, straight hair, twinkling eyes and shiny, glossy lips. "I agree. You have other, - " his eyes noticeably dropped to her breasts, "more desirable qualities."

From Lanie's quirked eyebrows and her, 'Don't-try-to-smooth-talk-me-Javier-Esposito' expression, he decided it was time to turn on the famous Esposito charm. He leaned into her and asked huskily, "How would you like to **make my night?**"

Oh Gawd, the way he asked that question had her insides quivering and thinking of a hot, stormy night wrapped up in his hot, horny arms.

She looked at him skeptically. "It depends on where this night is going to happen."

"Castle invited us all tonight to The Old Haunt."

She looked into his captivating, cappuccino eyes and saw something that she didn't quite like. She crossed her arms beneath her breasts and tapped her toe against the linoleum. "What's the catch?"

He had the nerve to look slightly uncomfortable. "Umm, I need a painless favor from you to ensure the night works out perfectly."

Her response was firm, immediate. "Nuh-uh. Nada. No way, Jose."

Javier rewarded her with that bad-boy grin of his that he knew she couldn't resist. "You know it does wicked things to my body when you call me by my middle name."

"Knock off the sweet-talk Javi and open up your ears. I said, 'No!' – The last time I did you a favor I ended up in Jersey at a family picnic where your deaf Grandmother screamed in my ear that she's only living for the sole purpose of meeting her first Great-Grandchild."

Javier had the gall to look sheepish. "I know Lanie, but it was sincerely a compliment. She really liked you and – "

She interrupted him, saying humorously, "And then she had the nerve to ask me when we were going to start trying."

"What can I say?" He leaned into her personal space exuding that macho-man persona. "My Abuela loves me and was obviously smitten with you."

"Uh-huh," she shook her head from side to side. "So as I see it, you owe me a favor now, - NOT the other way around."

His forehead creased into a frown. "But Lanieee, the favor really isn't for me. It's to help Beckett and Castle finally open their stupid, stubborn eyes and succumb to their attraction."

Her wide, liquid eyes and quick intake of breath betrayed her surprise.

"Ryan and and I are sick and tired of the unresolved chemistry between Mom and Dad and we need your help."

"Ryan's in on this?"

"Yes."

"You two lame-brains will never be able to pull off something this big."

"Don't I know it. Why do you think I'm coming to you?" His voice dropped an octave. "You brilliant, beautiful, African-American Goddess, you."

On the inside, her heart was palpitating with happiness over his words but she scoffed, "You're laying on the flattery pretty thick…You must really be desperate for my help."

"We are," and he batted those beautiful eyes of his.

"Okay, spill. Tell me your plans."

"Well, we recorded a very interesting conversation with Castle where he hints, - mind you, 'hint' being the proper term, that he's been waiting for Beckett since his relationship with Gina ended."

By the tone of his voice, Lanie knew that meant trouble with a Capital T. "Oh my God! You recorded a conversation where Castle's love life is your main topic of conversation?"

_The tabloids might pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for that juicy little number._

"Oh, hell no! We just poked and prodded him a bit." Javier's gleeful smile hinted that they had surely done more than that.

"You razzed her boy?" she asked critically, inwardly craving all the intimate details.

"You could umm say that… Beckett hauled in a flirty stripper today and banned Castle to the observation room… Ryan and I, -" his face glowed with pride, "may have ribbed him a bit as we tried to get him to admit that he wants to bed Beckett."

"Uh-huh, I'm sure you did." Lanie's smile grew as she absorbed Espo's haughty expression. "They're two ways it could go… Either Kate dies with laughter over your ingenuity or she's so pissed off that she feels the need to defend her man… Mmm," Lanie brought her hand up to her chin and rubbed it thoughtfully. "Option number two has distinct possibilities."

"Castle invited us all tonight for drinks at The Old Haunt. Ryan and I need you to make sure Beckett comes, as well as devise a plan to get her down into his office so she can hear the recording."

"I have to listen to it first."

"Your wish is my command." He bowed slightly as he pulled a thumb drive out of his front pocket.

"Now get out of my morgue so I can concentrate on work. I'll get back to you within the hour."

"If this scheme works, chica, I owe you big time."

"If this works, I expect a home-made-Latin-dish-to-die-for." And she licked her lips as she thought naughtily, _Plus a little Latin love on the side._

"You got it!" He outrageously winked at her before sauntering through the swinging double doors.

Thank God, she'd just finished examining her last body about 25 minutes before as paperwork could wait.

Once Esposito's fine ass was out of sight, Lanie quickly headed to her computer and inserted the thumb drive. She plopped her earbuds in and sat back to relax and enjoy the show.

**….**

_The stripper's name is Candy Land? _Lanie thought humorously but her smile immediately fell when she heard Espo's cat whistle and then,"I'd play on her game board any day."

Her favorite Latino was going to pay for that comment.

Her smile officially returned when she heard Castle say the he was not interested **at all** in the stripper. _Good for you, Writer Boy. _

She chuckled while picturing Candy Land in a sundress carrying a Nikki Heat book attending one of Castle's book signings. _Yep, she'd most certainly want her chest signed and undoubtedly would find a way to slip Castle her number._

Lanie's ears pricked up at Espo's voice. "Man, I'm envious of your life… All those choices of beautiful, willing women."

"Yeah Castle, you must be one of the most satisfied men on the planet."

"We – lll," Castle drew out.

She had to give praise where praise was due… The boys had done a clever job drawing out of Castle that he was no longer the Playboy of years past, - and if she hadn't of witnessed it firsthand, she just might have difficulty believing that was true.

She smiled over Espo pushing Candy Land at him: "Well, I'd bet that if you got yourself a taste of Candy Land that you might find yourself back on the Casanova track."

She felt like clapping aloud with Rick's astonished but firm, "**No**, **no.** She's definitely not my type."

"Not your type? - Blond, beautiful, in a slutty-kind-of-way with skyscraper legs and enormous breasts? Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

Ryan's clear voice replied, "He's fine, Espo. We both know his type is more a brunette with skyscraper legs and a domineering personality who knows how to handle handcuffs."

_Oh My God, Ryan didn't just go there, did he? - Yep, he did._

Lanie almost made a Kate-move by rolling her eyes at Castle's, "We're JUST friends, guys."

_Just friends? If they're just friends than I'm as white as Brittany Spears._

Lanie wished she hadn't have chosen right then to take a sip of her luke-warm espresso as Ryan jibed, "Castle, we're afraid you're about to lose your Man Card."

"Si, afraid you've lost your cojones."

She choked on the caffeinated beverage and spit out droplets on her scrubs. _Those boys certainly do have some cojones._

She was surprised that Castle sounded uneasy as he tried to reassure the boys that his Man Card was still present and well-deserved.

_Ryan had the nerve to ask him when he last had sex? Kate just might bust his ass for that one._

She couldn't stop chuckling over Javi's, "Jeez, it's worse than I thought, Ryan… He has to think about the last time he got laid."

"Yeah, it's been so long that he can't even remember."

Lanie couldn't believe the next words that came out of Castle's mouth..."It was when I was with Gina."

_The man hasn't had sex in a year and a half? Jesus, he's got it bad for Beckett._

The giggles started at her abdomen and rose to her diaphragm and burst out her throat as Ryan told him he needed to have a physical to make sure his junk worked properly and then Javier emphatically suggesting that he needed to see a Sex Therapist.

"Our boy here is waiting for our long-legged, controlling boss to wet his dry spell."

_I'd bet a thousand bucks that Ryan's on desk duty for that comment._

"Sure looks like it.. Jeez Castle, we've always known you were hoping to get her in the sack but going that long without some mattress mambo means - "

Lanie could clearly picture Castle's face as he droned, "Enough already." The intonation of his voice clearly stating that he was uncomfortable with the conversation.

It didn't slip past her that the most likely reason for that was, - h_e's definitely waiting for Kate to 'wet' his dry spell._

And at Castle's, "No chicas for me, Espo. I've already got one bad-ass woman I can't control," Lanie pulled out her cell phone and texted Kate: **You're not allowed to say, No. I need a Girl's Night Out tonight. 7 pm. The Old Haunt.**

She didn't think her grin could get any larger, but with Kate's reply, her cheeks hurt from smiling. **Count me in. I can't express enough how much I need a Girl's Night out. No men allowed. ;) **

Lanie's brown eyes crinkled from her plastered smile. She called Javi and said joyously, "It's on... Those two are in for the surprise of their lives."


	4. Chapter 4

The Old Haunt was surprisingly full of customers for a weekday. The music was festive and lively and the patrons even more so. Kate smiled broadly as it was the perfect rendezvous spot to blend in and go unnoticed. She and Lanie would be able to talk freely without prying ears.

A young, pretty, tall hostess with mid-length, light brown hair and hazel eyes approached them. Kate was grateful she didn't recognize (she glanced at her name tag) Sierra as tonight she didn't need to be seen as, 'the-owner's-muse'.

Lanie couldn't help her growing grin because Sierra could pass as Kate's little sister.

_Well, she's certainly a testament to where Castle's heart lies._

Sierra greeted them with a friendly smile and asked if they were joining another party.

"It's just us, tonight," Kate said. "Can we get a secluded booth in the back?"

"Certainly. Follow me."

Sierra of course recognized Detective Katherine Beckett. Upon being hired, she was shown a group photo of the owner's friends, - more like family in Mr. Castle's eyes… All the Officers from the 12th Precinct had beers on the house. Detective Beckett was certainly a beauty with her trim body, shiny locks and dazzling smile. The feminine, mint green blouse Kate wore brought out the green in her eyes and Sierra complimented her on the trendy bohemian skirt.

"Thank you, Sierra. I was just telling my friend here how lovely she looks out of uniform," Lanie said sincerely.

"I still can't believe you were able to convince me to dress-up."

"Hey, us ladies deserve to dress-to-impress once in a while. We need to keep the men on their toes, drooling over our assets."

Kate looked at the form-fitting, red dress that emphasized every one of the M.E.s curves and thought, 'Yep, Esposito would certainly be drooling if he saw you right now, but she said instead, "Uggh, I thought this was a 'No Men' outing."

"No," Lanie teased, "All I said was that I needed a Girl's Night. I never agreed to your suggestion of, 'No Men Allowed.' … Plus, you knew there was always the possibility of us running into Castle if we came to the Old Haunt."

She felt an uncharacteristic blush rise to her cheeks, but she refused to admit that she truly hoped her annoying, handsome-as-hell-partner also happened to be at the bar tonight.

She was also not going to reveal that she secretly loved that Lanie had insisted on her wearing a skirt. And NO, she wasn't telling her gossipy African-American friend that she'd purchased this particular mint-colored blouse with her arrogant, funny partner in mind because it brought out the 'green hues' in her eyes. And no, she wasn't telling Lanie that she picked out this particular bohemian skirt because it made her feel less like a cop and more like a desirable woman.

Sierra seated them and asked if she could start off their drinks.

Lanie laughingly said, "I'm ordering for you tonight, Kate," thinking that if she got her a little bit tipsy it might make her more susceptible to Rick's charms. "Two Sex On The Beach's, and throw in a maraschino cherry in one of them please."

Kate raised one eyebrow comically, "Sex on the beach?"

"Well I figured since you haven't had sex since hunky Doctor Josh that you might as well get a taste of it anyway."

Thank God she wasn't sipping a drink right now or she would have choked and spluttered it all over the table.

"Hmm," Kate said smirkingly, "What makes you think I haven't gotten any since Josh?"

Laine's exasperated expression make Kate laugh out loud. "Are you kidding me, girl? With your uptight demeanor and the way you look at Castle, you obviously haven't done the horizontal hussle in months."

Kate opened her mouth to protest but Lanie held up the palm of her hand, effectively stopping her.

"Don't even try to deny it… Like Duran, Duran says, 'You are hungry like a wolf, - and for one specific, famous author."

Kate rolled her eyes and then looked thoughtfully at Lanie's growing smirk which clearly stated, 'You-know-I'm-telling-the-truth-so-don't-fight-me- on-this-and-just-admit-it.'

"Come on, Kate. You can tell me anything, and if you asked me to keep my pretty mouth shut, I wouldn't breathe a word of it to anyone."

"Lanie, everyone knows that if they want the latest relationship gossip to head down to Gabby Parrish's office."

"You're conveniently leaving out that they also come to me for the best relationship advice as well."

As Sierra approached them with their drinks Lanie begged, "Spill. It's therapeutic you know, and I can be just as good a listener as Dr. Burke."

Kate threw her a look which portrayed, '**Be**-**quiet**-as-we're-about-to-have-company.'

As the hostess placed their drinks on the table she said, "They're on the house… The gentleman behind the bar said that the two most attractive women here shouldn't have to pay for their drinks."

A set of chocolate eyes and hazel ones both turned at the same time to the bar.

Kate gasped when she saw him_._

Rick's perfectly coiffed, sandy hair brushed to the side. His bluer-than-blue orbs sparkling in the fluorescent lighting, his cheeks touched with a smidgeon of pink due to his exertion behind the bar.

Rick in a tight, navy blue Mets baseball T-shirt that hugged his biceps and showed off his spectacular guns. He raised a tumbler and began shaking it. Her mouth fell open in astonishment as she literally gaped at the size of his upper arms. 'Spectacular' was an understatement as she wouldn't be able to span both her hands around the muscle.

_Mmm, _she thought naughtily, _he'd easily be able to pick me up and hold me against the wall while he fucked me senseless. _

Lanie found her voice first and with envy in her tone said, "Holy shit! You've been holding out on me. Why haven't I ever heard about his Statue of Liberty guns? ... I would never tire of looking at those massive biceps... If I were you, I'd be demanding that he wear short sleeves to work D-A-I-L-Y."

Kate chuckled at Lanie's undisguised enthusiasm. "Mmm," She took a long sip of her fruity drink, her eyes never leaving Rick's body, and replied, "I couldn't have said it better myself."

Lanie harrumphed, "I'm mad that you've been keeping this from me."

"I seriously had **no** idea."

"That man's body would do a woman good... You'd better jump on him quick, girlfriend, before some 20 something bimbo decides she needs him to **satisfy** her Daddy issues."

_'Yeah,' _she licked her suddenly dry lips, '_he could certainly satisfy some of my issues.'_

Said man that would do a woman's body good, _blast him,_ looked all relaxed and happy and just plain edible with his gorgeous ocean blues and sexy smile with sparkling white teeth.

While she appraised him, (or more correctly 'gawked' at him) Rick caught her unawares and his eyes glued with hers. He raised those thick eyebrows and tilted his chin **just so** and pasted that cocky expression on his face which screamed, 'I-know-that-you're-not-immune-to-my-charms-Detect ive-and-I' m-dying-to-show-you-the-magnitude-of-those-charms- in-the-bedroom.'

One of his entrancing eyes closed in a flirty wink and then his lips moved sensuously.

If she had to guess what he mouthed, she thought it might be, "Hi, Kate. You look lovely." But then again, with the way her mind was floating in the gutter currently, it could have been, "Hi, Kate. I want you badly."

She didn't think the view of him could get any better as there was not a single hair out of place on his head. (Which made her wonder what that thick head of hair would look like after a round of frantic sex) The rosy sheen to his cheeks brought out the masculine curvature of his jaw and the T-shirt highlighted his broad pecs, not to mention those bulging biceps that tapered down to his lean forearms and large hands.

_Umm, his hands._

_Hands that create those intriguing, stimulating words. Hands that write Nikki Heat. Hands that bring you luscious coffee every morning. Hands you dream about touching you intimately._

They're stimulating and luscious and _Oh Gawd_, he walked around the bar in True Religion jeans that were excessively tight in all the right places, … making his thighs look freakin fantastic, and (gulp) like he was** very** happy to see her.

_Now, - how do I get him to turn around so I can look at his ass?_

"You'd better close your mouth Kate or Castle might just get the impression that you're attracted to him," Lanie jested.

Kate threw her her famous 'death glare' as Castle sauntered to the table.

"Writer boy, you look smashing dressed like a civilian."

"Thank you, Lanie," his grin encompassed them both. "Might I return the compliment and say you two ladies look absolutely beautiful tonight." He grinned bashfully as damn, that was the understatement of the year.

Kate sitting before him with her hair upswept in an elaborate twist, showing off her model cheekbones and pink, lush lips, - dressed like a refined lady, (mind you, - the sexiest, hottest lady that he'd ever seen) in a mint green, chiffon top that made her eyes shimmer and barely skimmed the top of her breasts. The fabric flowed over her shoulders beautifully, exposing her delicate collar bones (making him long to taste the creamy flesh there) and if he gazed close enough, he'd be able to see what color of lingerie she wore beneath.

But **no**, (he tried to convince himself) - he wasn't that much of a cad to leer at the tempting, almost see-through blouse.

_Eyes up, Rick. Eyes up._

His eyes dropped though to the summery, white bohemian skirt that resided just above her ankles. A skirt that could easily be hiked up past her thighs and give him full access to what lied beneath.

"I vote that you two women should wear something like this to work."

Kate couldn't contain her smirk at their similar thoughts.

His eyes landed on her intriguing orbs and then his smooth, bedroom voice purred, "You, Detective, would have suspects **not** minding in the least being interrogated, - and you, Ms. Voluptuous M.E.," his eyes reluctantly left Kate to focus on Lanie, "Just might have a cadaver standing at attention wearing that smokin, cocktail dress."

Lanie's giddy laugh could be heard throughout the bar. "Don't you know by now, Writer Boy, that cadavers already do?"

Rick's chuckle mingled with hers. "What will it take for you to start calling me 'Writer-Man?"

Her eyes widened with glee. She promptly stood up next to him on tippy toes and placed her hands on his shoulders to lean into his ear. "You **bed** Beckett and then she can confirm whether or not you deserve the title."

Kate bounced her crossed leg up and down, up and down, as there were any number of embarrassing things Lanie could be telling him right now.

Rick's guffaw confirmed her worst fears. It rumbled up through his abdomen and into his chest and shook his whole frame.

"You'd better not be saying something risqué about me," Kate piped up worriedly, but from her friend's blatant, 'Who me?' expression it was obvious that she had done just that.

Rick couldn't help confirming it by further teasing, "You already know, Ms. Parrish, that I've been trying to do **just** that for the past 4 years."

"I'm betting it's going to happen sooner than you think."

"Hey guys, I'm right here," Beckett waved her hands in the air, annoyed that they were discussing her when she was just a foot away.

"Don't worry Kate," Rick teased, "It's nothing you haven't heard from Lanie before."

At her very perturbed look, shooting ominous rays through her eyes, _(How in God's name did she look even sexier with that particular look?)_ Rick held out his arm to her and asked graciously, "Detective, I'd love it if you two ladies would join me and the boys in my office."

"They're already here?" Lanie asked inquisitively.

"Yes, they haven't been here long though,- only about 20 minutes."

"Gawd Lanie," Kate whined, wondering what type of secret agenda she had planned for tonight. "This was supposed to be a Girls-Night-Out."

"This is so much more fun and you know it!"

Before Kate could finish rolling her eyes, Lanie piped up enthusiastically. "We'd love to join everyone."

She grabbed both of Kate's hands to pull her up from the booth and then slid Kate's right arm through Rick's left. She then strolled around Castle to capture his opposite arm.

Kate shook her head from side to side, smirking at Rick's self-satisfied grin and luminous leer. She flushed as she caught her playful partner ogling her like he wanted her to be his next meal. His dark orbs constricted, betraying that he wouldn't mind fucking her right here, right now.

"I'm so happy that you came tonight," left those full lips and her eyes dropped automatically to watch them move.

He was so close, smelling simply divine with that European cologne he fancied, and all she'd have to do is lean into him and her lips would brush across his…

Instead, she simpered, "Me too," and was surprised to hear the breathiness in her tone.

As Rick led them down the rustic hallway, she was fascinated by the photos adorning the wall.

Tears pricked her eyes as she looked at a photograph of her and Captain Montgomery, his arm slung casually over her shoulder.

"Castle, can I get a copy of this one?"

"Sure, **anything** for you," and the way he said, 'anything,' had her picturing him again as she did in that bizarre dream, - wearing only Superman boxers but this time with a matching red bowtie. She'd have a ball sinking her teeth into that sophisticated necktie and - .

"Oh my God," Lanie interrupted her thoughts, "This one's hilarious!" It was a photo with the boys and Captain Gates. Javier was standing slightly behind her mimicking her actions.

"You'd better pull that one down if Gates comes into the bar," Kate said. "Otherwise, Esposito just might find himself transferred to another precinct."

Another photo showed the four of them, plus Lanie and Jenny, chatting in the break room.

Her heart lurched at the last 8 by 10 candid shot of her and Castle… She was hunched over her computer screen obviously laughing at something Rick had just said… Castle's goofy grin splattered his face while he looked at her with ?

She struggled to find the correct term... _As he looked at her with Adoration? Devotion? With his heart on his sleeve?_

Her breath caught as she wondered,_ Is that how he truly sees me?_

She started when hot air lifted tendrils of hair at her ear, and then his bad-boy baritone said, "That's my favorite one of you."

She found herself staring at his full lips again… "When was it taken?"

His sexy chuckle reverberated through her arm and all the way to her toes. "It was taken right after Serena Kaye left the precinct gloating about her 1% finder's fee for the return of the Fist of Capitalism."

_Ah yes._ How could she forget Ms. Kaye flirting with him in such an open manner? Just thinking about the blond beauty ('hussy' being a more appropriate term) made her blood boil, but then, (a soft smile bloomed across her face) how could she forget Serena's parting shot that she didn't steal things that didn't belong to her? - Specifically, one hunky man over 6 feet tall with glorious thick hair and ocean-blues that you could easily drown in.

"Yes, I remember," Kate said laughingly. "Ryan commented that he was glad to see the last of her as he was sickened by her taste in men."

"Yes, he did, and that's when Jenny snapped the picture of us." He snagged her hand that was linked through his arm and settled it at his heart. "You, laughing riotously at the comment, and I'm laughing with you, trying hard not to be offended."

"You deserve a little 'offense' now and then with that massive ego of yours, Mr. Castle."

His eyes absorbed her angelic face and his voice softened humorously. "Where you're concerned Kate, my ego's taken enough bruising."

"What are you two chattering about?" Lanie asked, hating to be excluded from the conversation.

"Just saying how lucky I am to have the most amazing friends in New York City."

"And don't you forget it, Writer-Boy." Lanie motioned in front of her for Rick to descend the stairs first.

Both women's eyes were on Castle's firm, round ass as he walked down the narrow stairway.

Lanie held her thumb up in appreciation of his backside and mouthed, 'You need to get yourself some of that fine ass."

Kate decidedly ignored her and concentrated instead on walking down the steep steps in her 4 inch heels.

_No_, she was not concentrating on the way his taut ass moved sensuously from side to side... _How does he look so scrumptious in just a T-shirt and jeans?_

When Castle opened the office door, Espo exclaimed, "It's about time you're back. I'm sick and tired of Honey Milk here bitching that Jenny couldn't join us."

"Knock it off, Javi. It's sweet how madly in love he is with his fiancée."

"It's **not** manly to be so whipped."

"I don't know about that," Kate teased. "A woman finds a man who doesn't have commitment issues," she locked eyes with Castle, "Refreshing."

"Ohh?" Castle asked with his adorable, boyish expression which reflected a child's excitement on his birthday. "Do I fall into that category, Beckett?"

"You **own** that category, Partner, with your 2 previous marriages," she laughed. "It's obvious that you don't have any commitment phobias."

Rick actually threw his shoulders back and puffed out his chest. (Kate wouldn't have been surprised if he started beating it like a gorilla) "I'll take that as a compliment even though I'm not quite sure you meant it as one."

"Are you kidding me, Castle? These ladies just reduced you to the category of neutered-ninny." Espo took a long swig of his Heiniken. "Man, you and Ryan both need to grow a pair and stop letting the women in your life run you over."

Castle laughed gaily. "I'll agree with you there as the only woman in my life currently is my mother."

"I was certainly** not** referring to Martha," and Espo's eyebrows lifted as he glanced at Beckett.

_Oh no, _he did NOT just go there.

Kate's hazel eyes narrowed menacingly and her lips quirked upwards into a deceiving smile. "Are you actually hinting that I manipulate and control Castle, and that he needs to learn to stand up for himself?"

"Well-ll," he drew out teasingly, "If the shoe fits."

She walked over to him confidently and stood toe to toe with her team member. "I'll show you who I have control over… You're on desk duty for the next two days."

"But Beck – ett," he whined.

"Want to make it three?"

"No way."

"Tell her what you really meant by that comment," Ryan interjected, giving him the thumbs up to go ahead.

"What I'm really saying, Boss," and his eyes widened in fear, "In a very round-about-way, is that everyone can see that you two," his index finger flew back and forth between her and Castle, "Belong together."

His suave grin hinted at what was to come. "You're Castle's woman and it's about time that you both admitted it."

Unfortunately, Rick chose just that moment to take a sip of his whiskey and he choked on the burning liquid, sending him into a coughing fit.

"Castle's woman?" she said in a deathly, low tone.

Lanie interjected, "Wrong choice of words." She glared at Esposito and scoffed, "And you think you're God's gift to women."

"I know I can convince you that I am."

At Lanie's withering look, he quickly decided that it was in his best interest to shut his trap.

"Kate, all Javi's saying is that everyone from the delivery guy, to the caterer, to the cab driver, can see the connection between you two... We three see something special between our dear friends and it's about time you both got your heads out of your butts and did something about it."

"Uh-huh, exactly!" Ryan spouted. "Beckett, you need to listen to this." Ryan hurried over to Castle's computer and punched a few keys. Over the speaker came his tell-tale voice saying, "Hey Castle. How you doin'?"

"Fine," he grumbled. "Beckett won't let me in there with Candy Land... She gave me some excuse about being a distraction."

As soon as Rick realized that the boys had taped their conversation in the interrogation room, his mouth dropped and he jumped over to the computer, ineffectively pushing buttons trying to stop the recording.

"Oh, hell no. You did NOT tape our earlier conversation."

Ryan smiled innocently. "Yes, we did, and Beckett needs to hear this. It'll be good for both of you."

Kate smiled from ear to ear at Javier's, "The stripper's name is Candy Land? … I'd play on her game board any day."

"Of course you'd say that, Esposito. Men!"

"Officially her name is Candice Littleton, but Candy Land certainly suits her," rang through the room before Rick turned the speakers off.

Lanie had the good sense to round the boys together and say, "We're going to leave you two alone." She threw Kate a look that said, 'If-you-know-what's-good-for-you-you'll-listen-to- the-tape.'

She motioned for the boys to go ahead of her and just before she stepped out of his office, she flipped her head over her shoulder to say, "Rick, I listened to the tape and was very impressed by how you handled the boy's ribbing but more importantly, I was blown away by how you handled Candy Land."

_Candy Land?_ Kate thought with a sour taste in her mouth, and as Lanie shut the door behind her she turned to a very sheepish looking Castle, still fiddling with the keyboard.

Her voice, sacharine sweet asked, "Let's start with why you think the stripper name, Candy Land, suits Candice Littleton."

_Fuck!_ Here he was alone in a room with Kate looking all sultry and alluring while she asked him about a busty blond stripper.

Rick shuddered as her body language told an unpleasant story, - like she was restraining herself from pulling out her glock and shooting him.

_I'm not going to make it through the night._


	5. Chapter 5

**(This is the end of this fun/crazy story. Probably bordering M territory. I can't say Thank U enough for all the reviews... I've put the 'recording' in bolded text)**

**…_._**

Lanie had the good sense to round the boys together and say, "We're going to leave you two alone." She threw Kate a look that said, 'If-you-know-what's-good-for-you-you'll-listen-to- the-tape.'

She motioned for the boys to go ahead of her and just before she stepped out of his office, she flipped her head over her shoulder to say, "Rick, I listened to the tape and was very impressed by how you handled the boy's ribbing but more importantly, I was blown away by how you handled Candy Land."

Candy Land? Kate thought with a sour taste in her mouth, and as Lanie shut the door behind her she turned to a very sheepish looking Castle, still fiddling with the keyboard.

Her voice, sacharine sweet asked, "Let's start with why you think the stripper name, Candy Land, suits Candice Littleton."

Fuck! Here he was alone in a room with Kate looking all sultry and alluring while she asked him about a busty blond stripper.

Rick shuddered as her body language told an unpleasant story, - like she was restraining herself from pulling out her glock and shooting him.

_I'm not going to make it through the night._

**_…._**

"Can I just start, Beckett, by saying that I've never once implied to the boys, let alone ever called you, **my **woman."

Her smile was sweet, encouraging. "I believe you. Espo can be such a macho ass at times."

"Agreed," and out popped that charming, boyish grin of his that made her heart flip-flop. "As for Candice Littleton, I only complimented her stage name because it fit her personality."

At her raised eyebrows and 'Oh really?' expression, he hurried on, "Come on, Beckett, even you can see the humor in her name… Candy is definitely short for Candice and she is a bit like a child with her ditsy nature."

_I'm happy to second that_, Kate thought spitefully.

"As a kid, didn't you love playing Candy Land? … And we all know as adults, games become," his eyes dropped daringly to her breasts, "Even more fun."

"Uh, huh," Her arms crossed beneath those enticing breasts and pushed them further in his direction. Her glassy eyes and tapping foot relayed to him though that she didn't believe him.

Castle grinned internally as he was getting the distinct vibe that his beautiful Detective just might be a little jealous.

"I promise you that I'm not interested in her."

Her eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. "Play the tape then."

"It was a personal conversation between the guys and I while we watched you interrogate Candy - ," he swallowed heavily, "Candice Littleton. I seriously had no idea that they were recording it."

"I know." She looked at his wide expressive eyes and fidgety fingers and asked, "What are you afraid of, Castle?"

_God dammit._ He ran his fingers through his hair as he looked at her gorgeous face, - all creamy, milky skin with a hint of freckles across her narrow nose, - flashing hazel eyes that tended to change color with her mood, - thin, wide lips touched with pink that just begged him to kiss her.

"Nothing, Kate," he said but inside, his head was screaming that he was afraid she'd finally realize that he wasn't worth all the trouble and kick him out of her life for good.

His heart yelled to NOT play the tape but he couldn't stop his finger from hitting the pause button to start it back up again. He sat with a heavy heart in the computer chair and reluctantly turned the speakers up so she could clearly hear Esposito say, **"Wo – ah. Candy's smokin'! Are you interested in tapping that Castle?"**

Kate's ears noticeably pricked up.

**"Me?" **

He sounded surprised by the question and when she heard his answer a smile glimmered across her face.

**"No. There's no foul. You go for it."**

**"Hey,"** chimed in Ryan smoothly, **"Put Candy Land in a blue sundress carrying a Nikki Heat book and she could pass for one of Castle's groupies."**

**"Si,"** Espo chuckled. "**I can picture her now in a Barnes and Nobles waiting in line patiently at one of your book signings… She leans over the desk and shoves her fake boobs in your face while she holds out a permanent sharpie and asks you innocently to sign her chest."**

_Yeah_, Kate could just imagine Ms Stripper trying to doll herself up like Barbie in a too skimpy sundress with a daring neckline, a sharpie raised eagerly in her hand as she pushed those enormous breasts in Castle's face.

**"And then she inconspicuously slips him her number."**

**"Man,"** Espo drawled and then Kate heard him distinctly slap Castle on the back**. "I'm envious of your life… All those choices of beautiful, willing women."**

She rolled her eyes at Ryan's, **"Yeah Castle, you must be one of the most satisfied men on the planet."**

**"We – lll,"** and the way he drew the word out had Kate glaring into those baby blues of his that looked surprisingly bashful back at her.

**"Let's just say that the 'Playboy' rumors flying around about me, - aren't necessarily true."**

_Did I just hear that correctly? _

Her heart twitter-pated at his over-bright eyes, flushed cheeks and shy demeanor… His chin ducked in embarrassment and he avoided looking into her eyes. His fingers drummed nervously on the desk top.

**"What do you mean?"** Espo asked belligerently, sounding like a soldier who'd just been told his R&R had been canceled.

Castle's distinctive voice filled the room, **"I'll admit, at one time, it used to be thrilling to pick the most attractive fan out of hundreds of women and take them home for the night."**

**"You mean the horniest woman,"** snickered Espo.

**"The hottest woman,"** chimed in Ryan.

**"The woman with the largest breasts."**

**"The woman who looks like a supermodel but only has half a brain."**

She was beginning to think that her boys were the ones with half a brain.

**"Enough guys,"** Castle interrupted and she could just picture his quirky grin from the sound of his voice. **"That was me several years ago… It's not who I am now."**

Her inner voice screamed at her, _You know that's the truth, Kate._

**"Well, I'd bet that if you got yourself a taste of Candy Land that you might find yourself back on the Casanova track."**

Her heart triple tripped as she heard Rick's answer, **"No, no. She's definitely not** **my type."**

Rick stopped the tape and looked at her quizzically. "There's your proof. All wrapped up in a pretty package addressed to you from your devious partners."

"Hmm, I see," but the way she was scrutinizing him with those hazel eyes, - now a liquid, molten brown, told a different story. "Why isn't she your type?"

Castle guffawed, a rumbling purr of laughter that shook his entire frame and shot tingles from the soles of her feet to the tip of her head.

"Esposito asks that same question next… I'll have you know," and he winked at her cooly, "That a woman has to have more than just a smokin' body to hold my interest."

"Since when?" she teased with twinkling eyes.

"You know me better than that, De –tec-tive."

_Ohh, _the way he said, 'Detective,' all buttery smooth, in that baritone of his, was purely sinful and had her craving to hear it in the bedroom.

"A woman also has to have a sharp mind, a lively personality and beautiful soul to keep me interested."

The way he was looking at her clearly implied that the woman he just described was standing in front of him.

She couldn't help teasing him further by saying, "And both your ex-wives clearly exemplify those traits."

He chuckled, "No, - they do not. I have since grown up a bit."

"I may have to differ with that."

"If you'd like, I can certainly show you just how 'grown up' I can be."

And there he was again, the 'Playboy' who could throw out a sexual innuendo in less than a second and make her insides churn to mush.

Her eyes lowered from his smug, attractive face and lingered on the breadth of his chest, - which was seriously impressive, - and those arms… _Wow_… How did he hide them from her for the past 3 and a half years?

She did that thing then that immediately drew his gaze to her mouth… She nibbled on her lower lip enticingly before saying, "Hit the 'play' button again, Castle."

He looked at her with exasperation and desperation all rolled into one, blue orbs wavering. She fully expected him to balk at the request and refuse to play the recording, but he surprised her when he sat back straight in the chair and clicked on the screen.

**"She's not your type?"** And the disbelief in Espo's voice was comical**… "Blond, beautiful, in a slutty-kind-of-way with skyscraper legs and enormous breasts? … Are you sure you're feeling alright?"**

Ryan piped up, **"He's fine, Espo. We both know his type is more a brunette with skyscraper legs and a domineering personality who knows how to handle handcuffs."**

_Oh my God! Ryan actually had the nerve to say that?_

**"Right on, Partner,"** and it sounded to her like the boys high-fived one another.

_Yeah,_ _she'd be high-fiving them next time she got her hands on them,_ she thought sarcastically.

Rick's clear voice came over the line… **"How many times do I have to tell you that we're – "**

**"JUST friends,"** echoed throughout the room as both boys said it simultaneously.

**"We know Castle, but honestly, we're afraid for you."**

**"Afraid? - What's the matter with you two?"**

**"Afraid you're about to lose your Man Card."**

**"Si, afraid you've lost your cojones."**

She couldn't help the light laughter that burst from her lips as her boys had just successfully cornered her arrogant partner.

After hearing Rick's**, "Heey, I can assure you that the Man Card is still present and well-deserved," **Kate's eyes dropped to 'said cojones'.

_Mmm, I'd bet he has a __**very**__ impressive Man Card._

**"Exactly what we're afraid of…"**

She could just imagine the comical looks the boys exchanged amongst themselves.

**"Yep… Just how long has it been since you've used your, umm,"** Ryan cleared his throat, **"Card?"**

_What?_ _Did Ryan just ask him the last time he had sex? ... _Her eyes roamed up to Rick's blanched face to confirm her suspicions, and she found herself waiting with baited breath for his answer.

**"Hmm."**

**"Jeez, it's worse than I thought, Ryan… He has to think about the last time he got laid."**

"**Yeah, it's been so long that **he can't **even remember."**

Rick said humorously. **"Guys, it hasn't been thaat long..."**

There was a long, uncomfortable pause where Kate realized he must be calculating in his head how many days it'd been since he'd been intimate with a woman.

It was just a good thing that she didn't have a drink in her hand when she heard Castle's answer or the shock alone would've made her drop it to the floor.

**"It was when I was with Gina."**

"Gina?" she squeaked out but Castle didn't respond, only looked at her with those lake-colored eyes like he was ready to die of embarrassment.

It certainly didn't help his embarrassment when Ryan continued… **"What was that, Castle? - I couldn't hear you."**

**"Okay guys. So it's been awhile… The last time I had sex was with Gina."**

Kate swallowed hard… _But that meant, - Holy Moly, it'd been about 16 months. And that also meant, _her conscious screamed at her,_ That he's been waiting for __**you**__ all this time._

Espo coughed, **"Man Card issues."**

**"NO, there's no issues. Everything **definitely **works properly down there."**

She felt the heat suffuse her cheeks as she thought, _I might just have to volunteer to test that theory._

**"Are you sure, Castle? Let's face it,"** Ryan continued to egg him on, **"You've hit middle age, and it's been well over a year. Maybe you should go see a Doctor, have an annual physical, get your package checked out."**

Kate tried to stifle the chuckle that burst from her lips.

**"No,"** Javier piped up comically, **"He needs to see an experienced sex therapist as it's NOT normal for a healthy male to go that long without nookie."**

**"Really, I promise that no medical attention is necessary."**

**"You do know what this means, right Javi?"**

_Oh no, here it comes, _she thought anxiously.

Somebody slapped Rick hard on the back.** "Our boy here is waiting for our long-legged, controlling boss to wet his dry spell."**

"Damn!" she uttered, "He's so busted," and her face clearly reflected that Ryan was officially in the doghouse. She was going to have to pull Jenny aside and dish some secrets about her fiancé.

**"Sure looks like it.. Jeez Castle, we've always known you were hoping to get her in the sack but going that long without some mattress mambo means - "**

**"Guuyys,"** Castle droned, interrupting Esposito. **"Enough already."**

Kate heard him clear his voice before saying, **"How about I treat you both to some free drinks at the Old Haunt tonight? Ryan, you're sure welcome to bring Jenny, and Javi you can bring your latest one-night-stand."**

**"Sounds great, Castle. I'm sure my date has a hot friend that can tag along… A chica who can help you with your 'Man Card' problems."**

_I'm the only woman who's going to be helping him with his 'Man Card' problems,_ she thought possessively.

Her suave partner didn't disappoint her when he chuckled**, "No chicas for me, Espo… I've already got one bad-ass woman I can't control."**

Bad-ass, huh? _– _Her eyes darkened in lust as she thought, _I'm going to enjoy proving that truth to him, - in the bedroom, in the squad car, right now in his office._

She didn't hear his parting shot of, **"Tell Beckett I had to leave a little early. Hope to see you guys tonight," **because she was completely wrapped up in the immense blue of his eyes as he tried to decipher her feelings.

The recording stopped and silence filled the room.

After a few, uncomfortable seconds Castle said half-heartedly, "Your interfering boys are now officially off my Christmas list. Wanna help me think of the prank of the century to pay them back?"

Her laughter filled the small room and seemed like music to his ears.

"Oh, I could come up with a few ideas… Those two sure schooled you good."

"Yes, they did. They sure did."

She stood there looking quite un-Detective-like with her perfect make-up, twisted hair, soft blouse showcasing those stunning breasts and in a very flirty skirt which made her look **all **woman… He felt the blood rush south as her sweet, intoxicating cherry scent weaved its way around his senses.

"Can I ask you a question?" she queried, and he was surprised by the shyness in her tone.

His response was immediate, sincere. "You already know that you can ask me anything."

"Can I trust that you'll tell me the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" she asked with a tentative smile.

_Gawd_, that meant the question was going to be personal and definitely difficult to answer but as he looked into her mesmerizing hazel eyes, practically drowning in their depths, he determined that even if it meant putting his heart on the line, he'd tell her the truth.

His lips lifted into an honest smile. "Yes. Ask away."

"Why haven't you had sex with anyone since Gina?"

"There just hasn't been anyone who, - " he paused, unable to finish with, 'Even comes close to you.'

Somehow, someway, without him even noticing, Katherine Beckett had gotten under his skin and into his heart and any other woman drastically paled in comparison.

He huffed out a large sigh, his eyes never leaving her beautiful face as he purred, "You know why, Kate."

She appraised him slowly, - searching his face and studying his body language for any type of distrust.

"I need to hear the words."

"Creating an incredible fictional character based solely on you and publishing three books about her isn't enough?" he teased.

She shook her head side to side. Her eyes shimmered as she approached him stealthily. The outright determination in her features and the provocative smile glossing her lips made his breathing quicken.

"No, Mr. Castle," she purred and those strong but refined hands of hers pressed into his shoulders and shoved on him, pushing the rolling chair away from the desk. "It isn't enough."

His eyes about popped out of his head as she stood in front of him and then leaned towards his chair, placing her hands on the armrests, giving him full view of her cream and pale pink brassiere covering those enticing breasts.

Her breath roamed over his face hot and desperate, "Why haven't you slept with anyone in over a year?"

"Hmm," and he fell into her stormy eyes. "Ever since I crashed a certain Detective's life," he croaked, trying to keep his eyes on her face but failing miserably as they kept slipping to her unbelievable cleavage. "I've been comparing every woman I meet to her and no one, **no one** comes even close to her beauty, intelligence, strength, class, wit, charm, etcetera, et – ceter -a."

His words petered out as she leaned into him and whispered huskily in his ear, "Really? - This Detective sounds pretty remarkable, - more fiction, than fact."

His hands couldn't resist grasping her small waist and squeezing just a bit. His thumbs swirled over her pelvic bones. He had to refrain from placing his lips on her lean, tempting neck that was barely an inch away.

"I've studied and researched her," he said softly and one of his hands left her waist to gently cup her face. _"_And also** longed** for her on a daily basis for years now. She's definitely** real** all right," he said provocatively. "The most 'real' woman I've met in my entire life."

She moved away him then, and his lips turned down into a pout as his hands clutched at air, reaching for her… He lost all train of thought as she lifted up that attractive bohemian skirt and he caught a glimpse of a shin, then a kneecap and a tanned, toned leg and -

"We – ll, it sounds to me that this Detective should turn the tables in her favor and do a little research of her own."

_Ohh Fuck… _She hiked up the skirt, kneeled on the chair and straddled his lap_, _sitting down suggestively on his massive thighs. (Thank God he'd paid a small fortune for this extremely large, comfortable, leather chair as they both fit without discomfort)

"What type of research?" he eeked out, trying to grasp the concept that this particular Kate Beckett fantasy was finally coming true.

"The kind," her hands roamed down his shoulders and across his chest, "That shows," her fingers toyed with the hemline of his T-shirt, "Your Man-Card's still intact."

His glorious, sexy-as-hell grin made her already over-sensitive nerves thrum with electricity.

"My favorite kind of research."

"Prove it," she demanded and then her lips were on his, - bold, frantic, - crushing in their intensity, - inhaling his every breath and exhaling on a sultry moan that put him at full mast in an instant.

She kissed him with such raw, savage intensity that it stole his breath away and made him feel like he just might combust from the pure physical pleasure of her.

One quick thrust of his tongue parted her lips and allowed him entry – entry to every slick feminine, heated corner of her mouth. Rick circled her tongue with quick, urgent strokes. As he tasted the cranberry from her drink and something else that was uniquely Kate, he became overwhelmed by the sensation that he could easily become drugged on the taste of her.

_Her… Kate Beckett._

His hands finally shot into her hair, releasing the hair clip and as the tresses tumbled over his fingertips, he exhaled against her lips, "Kate, Oh Kate."

She didn't let him continue as her mouth silenced his devotion. Over and over again her lips plundered his; her tongue a velvet stroke that reverberated through his body in heavy waves.

Her hands seemed to be everywhere at once… In his hair, fingering his scalp, massaging the back of his neck, along his tense shoulders, across his pecs, over his biceps… Everywhere she touched left a burning trail of quivering skin in its wake.

His warm hand slid beneath her bohemian skirt and ran possessively over her leg, up over the ridge of her knee, along the taut swell of her thigh, inching closer and closer to –

With her lips still glued to his, her fingernails dug into his shoulders for leverage… His hands cupped her buttocks and lifted, pulling her closer to his manhood… A groan of pure ecstasy escaped his mouth as she ground down on his erection.

He was hard as metal, hot as a steaming desert in July, ready in a moment's notice to fill her completely.

As she gyrated her hips in a slow, methodical manner his head lolled back and hit the back of the chair. "Keep that up," he said hoarsely, "And this game ends before half-time."

He gripped her hips unbearably tight to stop her motions and then peppered her jawline with purposeful, lingering kisses, - making sure his stubble left a trail of raw skin. She tipped her delicate, tempting neck to the side, inviting him to taste her further. He nibbled down her soft-as-a-babies-skin and got the reaction he was looking for as he reached her jugular.

Her exotic sigh of pleasure wrapped its way around his senses and encouraged him to bite painfully on the tender spot, making sure to mark her as his own.

"Castle," she breathed and the raw flame of desire that burst from her eyes brought him to the breaking point.

He frantically reached for the buttons on the back of her blouse.

**….**

Lanie took her shoes off at the top of the stairs and held them in her left hand as she descended quietly down the steps.

A muffled groan from behind the office door floated up to her… She hurried as fast as she dared down the rest of the stairs and put her right ear up to the door.

_I'm going to have to say five Hail Mary's for this._

There was a few seconds of silence and then Castle's smoky voice said, "Keep that up and this game ends before half-time."

"Yes!" She mouthed and her fist pumped up in the air.

Kates' "Cas – sle," in an obviously aroused tone made her grin from ear to ear, but the next second her mouth literally dropped as she heard the computer chair whack into the wall.

_Shit! _

She jumped half a mile when Kate's back slammed into the door.

"Lock it!" Rick commanded, but from the sultry sounds coming from the other side of the door it was obvious Kate was a bit preoccupied.

She heard an 'Oof,' and then, "I can't. - - Ohhh Rrrick," followed by heavy breathing and a questionable slurping sound.

"Can't reach it," she said breathily. "Uggh!" and in the next moment she heard the bolt lock click into place.

Lanie took a deep, grateful breath that the two hadn't heard her squeak of fright when he'd propelled Kate into the door.

There was more scuffling… A, "You're so incredibly beautiful," and Kate's exasperated response of, "Shut up…. Gawd, Yesszz! Just like that."

What she heard next brought a flush to her sexually-liberated cheeks. It was the unmistakable sound of his desk being cleared off in a frenzy… Papers, stapler, letter opener, hole punch, pens, folders all crashing to the floor.

Sweat beads pricked her forehead as she envisioned Castle taking her on top of his desk.

_Well, he just graduated from 'Writer Boy' to 'Writer Stud', _she thought as she fanned herself with her hand.

She finally decided to give them some privacy after she heard Rick growl, "I'm going to fuck you until you scream my name, Detective."

_When did it get so blasted hot in this bar?_

She strolled with a sexy sway to her hips over to the boy's booth wearing a sparkling, self-satisfied grin.

"It worked, you scheming devils. Mom and Dad finally consummated the marriage."

"It's about darn time."

Ryan raised his beer bottle in the air and said gleefully, "Cheers to the three sneakiest co-workers in New York City."

She raised her Sex on the Beach drink and clinked her glass with his, "Cheers," and her eyes caught and held Espo's, clearly reflecting her hope that their night end in the same manner as Mom and Dad.


End file.
